Monaco has the potential to be magically boring.

I'm not going to hide the fact that I hate the Monaco GP. Unless you're there it's not interesting to watch, it's a dull procession of cars with hardly any overtaking action, or any action for that matter. In my opinion the Monaco race is worse that Valencia and a Migraine combined.

Pirelli are running the show and have been ordered to spice up the racing, however this may have a disastrous consequence.

Now in the good old days Monaco was an incredible venue, the danger involved was absurd and therein lied the magic. Yes we might be lapping faster now but the excitement has gone, there is still danger but they do so much work.

I think my point can be summed up by this video here, yes it's faster but look at how much more work Senna is putting in just to stay on the road!

But all this is just part of my annual hating on Monaco. The real gripe I have this year is, surprise surprise, tyres.

Even the biggest fan of Monaco can't argue that the race isn't processional, one car following another struggling to get past, even with DRS.

Remember last year when Button was held up by a Caterham for about ten laps after leaving the pits; which prompted Caterham to tweet "Great race, even battling with the McLarens at one point" which was rather funny, as being stuck behind and battling are two very different things.

Monaco is the motorway at rush hour of Motorsports

This year the problems will be exaggerated. The tyre situation is too dire, prompting Pirelli to change compound mid-season. If the Mercs lock out the front row again on their blinding laps, but then their tyres fall off the cliff, then there are 22 cars all stuck behind, not being able to pass but easily keeping up. This might make for some odd finishes where a Williams could be on the podium, simply because the mid-field are so closed up and pit stops will literally win or loose a race here.

The processional theme of this race will be worsened by drivers not being able to drive flat out, like they did in the early 90's full stop, they'll have to conserve tyres to ensure that their not holding up enough people,
because the crux of the matter is, if you're in front of someone, it's unlikely they'll pass, so you can go as slow as you like to look after the tyres.

2013 Monaco will be a procession of cars, close together but not lapping fast at all, everyone will be on tyre management because pitting will loose races because you simply cannot pass.

In Spain no one can hear you scream "DAMN PIRELLI"

Well wasn’t today an interesting race? That was rhetorical, you shouldn’t have answered that because A) it was rhetorical and B) how could I possibly hear you? That was rhetorical too, stop answering these questions. The correct response is no, that race wasn’t interesting at all really it was bog standard 2013 race.

Firstly I’d like to apologise about how late this post is, but I just got off a train and am in London for the next few weeks in my lovely hotel room with a stupidly loud fan that I can’t turn off in the ceiling, so as I can’t reference to the race on IPlayer as I do when writing these posts, it may not be quite so accurate.

"Hmm, we might get three laps with all these tyres."

The race was dominated by tyres, a Torro Rosso’s exploded and a Caterham lost one around turn 9, the tyres fell away and didn’t last very long, with most of the grid doing 4 stops. A lot of people are blaming Pirelli and some even going so far as to say “I won’t ever buy their road tyres because look how bad they are”, however I think the F1 contract shows how competent they are, they have been specifically asked to

make a tyre that falls apart quickly to engineer more exciting racing.

If anyone is to blame for the dodgy foot wear given to these cars, then it’s the FIA, and Dark Sith Lord Volde-emperor-Jong-Il himself, Mr Ecclestone. They wanted some spectacular racing due to the tyres, and what they got was a fairly dull train of top class drivers who can’t push their cars because they’ll break the tyres.

Spain is actually really curved

Anyway, to business, Fernando won after a great first three laps, after that no one really challenged him, which was good to the home crowd who seem to support him as some sort of demi-god. It’s actually a bit creepy.

Kimi waltzed into second, no real problems for him, a few overtakes but mainly just managing his tyres.

Massa was the top dog in Ferrari, going from 9^th to 3^rd in a race with few overtakes; the Brazilian looked quite pleased, as did the Tifinosi.

Mercedes really need to look into their tyre wear, its bizarre how they can be so fast in one lap, but the moment they do two, everything falls apart; I’m almost certain that they’ve decided to just give up developing this car and make a championship automobile next year.

McLaren did well I suppose. I’m going to leave it there because I don’t want to embarrass them.

Esteban did very well, dragging his car up from 17^th (Cannot confirm) to 11^th, he was so near the points yet so far, so congratulations to him, especially because that Sauber is very dodgy.

They locked out the front row, Pirelli locked them out
of the podium.

Di Resta did that thing he did, where one minute he’s 6^th, then he’s 9^th, then he’s 2^nd. Stop doing that, it makes it really hard to follow where you are. Most likely though it’s a problem with FIA who seem to not

like filming Force India even when they are properly racing, and no racing is happening elsewhere.

Overall though, nothing that fancy, the tyres designed to infuse excitement have, in many respects, removed it from F1. Only time will tell what will happen to these tyres, although Pirelli are already giving into the publics pressures.

  

McLaren are falling into disrepair

Yes it's a well known and confirmed fact that the team best known for innovation and mid-season development are doomed for all eternity because they started the season badly.

Ok well it's ridiculous to assume anyone isn't a title contender this year at this stage, Sauber could improve on their horrible car and claim several consecutive wins with Hulkenberg and win the championship. This is F1 don't forget.

I've been hesitant to comment on McLaren until at least half way through the season, but it seems that I said in my first post that this article was coming soon, and I've given into the pressure. McLaren are a team best known for developing a car quickly, and yes this year they may have a dog, but so did Ferrari (And a boat load of luck) last year and look where that got them.

Greg's hire car was not what he was expecting

McLaren are not a team with dodgy uninspired leadership, admittedly Martin Whitmarsh hasn't shown teal leadership skills when is required, but the rest of the team are committed; right from the board to the lowest chap in the team, the company exists to race in F1, and are making cars with the sole purpose of funding that ambition. 

There is no shying away from the fact their car struggles to get into the top 5 at the best of times, let alone win races, but the team seem quite confident, perhaps they knew this was going to happen, perhaps most of their resources are going into the 2014 car, after all a lot of changes will mean an entirely new design philosophy will have to be created. The truth is we just don't know.

"Sergio, smile and pretend it's good"

The pit wall seems to know their title hopes are over this year, letting Button and Perez race like that in Bahrain, risking the best two finishes McLaren would have had all year was a brave move if you think you’re going to be needing every point come the end of the year, just look at Red Bull.

I feel that they have invested so much into next year’s car they heavily neglected the 2013 car, getting the Tea boy to design the aero for example, this seems odd from a team with so many resources, but it does seem like everyone in McLaren is fairly content; we all know that’s what Mercedes are doing, already reporting 50% of all team resources are being spent on next years car.

This all begs the question though, why if they were going to ignore this year and use it as some sort of test, did they just not use last year’s car, clearly the fastest on the grid. It takes some impressive work to go from fastest to not even in the top 4 teams in one season and still use effectively the same car, and it’s not like they've been out-developed, because everyone is using similar cars to last year.

Tip - Remember to bolt on wheels

So why would they not use the same car, it could very well be reinforcing that this year, the car they are using is a test for next year, where they hope Button will actually find some grip for once.

After Hamilton jumped ship on the promise of an amazing car in 2014, I’m sure McLaren are keen to show him what he’s missing and hammer Merc into the ground next year.

But with the European races coming up, only time will tell.

Side Note: Unlike every article about McLaren ever, I didn't use the expression “The Woking Based Outfit”.... Stop doing that.